It’s cosy, francophillic, and focuses on the company of others to entertain you. No LCD monitors playing the latest SKY broadcast here, just plain, unabandoned human interaction. The place could have been surgically removed from a Parisian corner if not for the lustrous Jarrah tables and floors which shine like spilt Burgundy.

On the other hand, I can see why some people wouldn’t like it. It has no coffee, only a handful of beers and even less Scotch (and you can forget the other spirits). And the approach to food is as canny as the reason for the choice of only just 7 wines by the glass. Keep it simple.

There is a very good reason why small bars work. Well, to begin with they’re, um, small. Size of a bar weeds out rambunctious behaviour for the same reason why we, as humans, go inexplicably silent when riding a lift full of strangers. The staff at a small bar provide efficient service because the ratio of staff to patron is higher. You get to know the staff and the exchange is mutual. It’s the same reason why you’d want to be on first-name basis with your butcher, baker or candlestick maker. Whisper’s reception is warm, casual and intellectual. It’s geared more like ‘that corner bar’ feel that you’d pay several thousand dollars on travel to experience in France.

The menu is astonishingly simple. Fresh baguette and duck pate. Marinated octopus and goats cheese. These are bold flavours that have several wine-match options. There is something provincially satisfying when you have a chalky dry white back-to-back with a liver pate and watch the street turn sepia in the sun. People travel farther to France, pay more, for less.

Whisper Wine Bar has a saucy little cellar of wines spanning very reasonably priced Australians through to cherry-picked Frenchies. You can find that eclectic trove up stairs in a glass vault, although it’s only marginally more seducing than the romantic balcony that overflows with views of Essex St.

I’d wish to see a rambling cobbled Parisian back alleyway, but you can’t have your crêpe and eat it too.

Perhaps I’m deluded in thinking there is some nobility in doing a Perth summer without aircon.

Yep. We don’t have one, and I’m reminded just how sweltering it can be in a small (rented) townhouse when the temperature soars above 40 and spiders die on the west-facing wall.

I guess you could say I’m tight in refusing to buy a small evaporative aircon unit, but I really can’t see the point as the (town)house is so poorly insulated that filling a room with a desirable 16C zephyr will be all but eradicated. And even then, come the afternoon, when the Fremantle doctor breezes though Perth, it’s bearable enough to open the house. So really you’re spending a lot of energy (and money) on cooling something that will eventually be lost. I can understand if your house was designed with an energy conscious mind: have double glazed windows, reflective blinds etc, then you’d get more efficiency from running a said unit.

Given that most of the houses in Perth are appallingly designed to maximise heating/cooling efficiency, where does that leave those (like us) who don’t want to Bikram conditions, but CBF wasting money on a crappy aircon unit?

Fans.

Then you mosey on down to a department store to find a quality fan. Let me tell you, finding a quality fan is as hard as finding an energy efficient townhouse. So a bit of research, on design, quality, build brought me to an American brand of fan called Vornado. I know the name and marketing is dorky (and so is the box it comes in), but by-gees it’s a good fan! The model that caught my eye, the Vornado VF20 is a re-jigged replica of the very model released by the company in the 1940s. Sleek all steel construction, double-cone inlet, and deep pitched propeller blades speak volumes of the insightful design. You can feel the solid construction — this fan is quality.

Operating at full-bore it chews up only 29 watts, 26 watts on medium and 20 watts when it purrs on low. It can be tilted directly upwards, though it doesn’t have a oscillate function. Vornado’s website suggests this is because it’s less of a fan and more an air circulator. By moving air in summer or winter, you reduce heat gradients that naturally occur, reducing heating/cooling costs. Simply aim the fan to the farthest point of the room and it circulates enough air for you to reconsider running aircon in summer. But at $239 (not what I paid online, but RRP) it’s not an easy sale, especially when you can get a simple, plastic pedestal fan for $30.

Weighing up the option of a small (evaporative) aircon unit, which will:

1. only be efficient when the humidity is low,

2. require a constant flow of dry air (so as to remain efficient) — hence an open window letting in warm air somewhere in the house (thus more-or-less negating the aircon in the first place),

3. use 1000+ watts of energy,

4. only really needs to be used on 35C plus days, (but when the Freo doctor comes in, it’s therefore more eco-nomical to turn it off)…

… it was obvious the fan was a better year-round purchase.

We bought this thinking that if the fan was a dud in some way, it’ll still look dapper as a 60-year-old curio does on a shelf.

So impressed we were, we now have two.

Gourmet Burger Bars.
Ah yes, they’re taking over the lions share of wherever ‘the burgers are better’ and where you’re ‘lovin it’.

For too long we have been subjected to mass produced, paltry, mechanised and formulaic meat between two buns. Now we’re spoilt for choice, we quibble over whether Jus is superior over Flipside,  and who has the best chippies.

Another bar-raisingly fine example can be found at 400 South Terrace Fremantle (corner of Harbour Road). This child-friendly, playful, never-never land of burgers and chips is one of Perth’s newer burger joints.

Missy Moos shares the (South Terrace) strip in Freo that is still in its cafe strip infancy, and bodes well for parking (conveniently at the rear of shop) as parking in Freo is always a hassle.

On the chalk board you’ll find nursery-rhyme character-named beef , chicken, and vege burgers. And what self respecting burger bar in Freo would be devoid of fish? Yep, it’s here too.

I opted for the “Humpty Dumpty” beef burger with pineapple, beetroot, free range egg, Margaret River tomato relish and baby spinach. The burger meat was very good quality and the chargrilled pineapple put an interesting spin on things. Using Jus as a reference point, it’s a clear tie for ingredients except the buns. It’s not that they were like those sugary Tip Top abominations that can be compressed to a small puck, but they just didn’t have the killer edge which Jus has. I like good buns — I’ll leave it at that. Speaking of killer edges, do all burger bars have a thing about impaling burgers?

The Perth gourmet burger standard is high, so really, what becomes the deciding factor?

Price, in my book.

In that regard, then it was good [value for money]. Not jaw-droppingly brilliant, not border-line OK, just good. The atmosphere is open and casual.

Missy Moos is working on a formula that is fail-safe, post-GFC and anti-global — local, fresh ingredients, local family, local customers. Wholesome food, family-first, casual dining.

Who would have ever thought?  The big boys must be squirming under their crowns and golden arches.

I acknowledge it has been a while since the last small bar review because life seems to have its way of insisting to apply more attention to where it’s needed most.

So it was refreshing that to get back into a small bar late on a sunny afternoon in Fremantle.

Mrs Brown is the name. And she ain’t as boring as she sounds.

As the story goes Queen Victoria had a little thing for a Scottish servant called John Brown. Perhaps it was more than the companionship he offered or how he fiercely protected her. Either way, Vicky and John became something of an informal item, hence her name Mrs Brown. The location of the small bar (not the late monarch) is on Queen Victoria Street. The location of the bar is a good enough excuse for that name, I say.

You could be forgiven into thinking that this place brings back memories of The Stanley. In some ways it does.

There is a Flipside burger bar next door, and patrons are welcome to bring food over.

Even decor of the bar feels the same. Shabby-chic. Retro meets federation. Have a squiz at the portrait of Mrs Brown and spot the 10 modern elements. Check out the crazy welded lighting feature or play with the magnetic words. It’s mature-age fun.

Wines appear from across the international board, there is one tap beer and the rest are well selected bottles. A top range of spirits crown the shelves, Hendrick’s Gin appears to make an impromptu feature along the stairwell wall.

Grab a burger from next door, sit down with a G & T and watch the world blur by.

Mrs Brown

241 Queen Victoria Street

North Fremantle

P:  9336 1887

Monday to Saturday – open to midnight
Sunday – open to 10 pm.

One of the greatest things about showing someone around your city is you get a chance to view things from a fresh(er) perspective.

Fremantle was revived in the old terraces and quirky shops.

The chilly spikes of morning eased to the rounded lull of a winter sun.

Beer and Kangaroo under an olive tree with great company.

But it’s only going to be for a nine more days, I feel too guilty being a tourist in my own town.

At the risk of sounding like a troglodyte or social misfit with a strange phobia for bars and open places for not discovering it earlier, but Little Creatures Freo is one very decent place for a good pint and feed. And to be totally honest with you, this was only my second time there. I admit it, in times when petrol prices were reasonable and politicians truthful, I never felt the need to venture so far south for a beer, pizza and drunken social interaction; good thing I was finally dragged along by happen chance for Nachos and 3 pints before having my mid-afternoon bliss called short by the prospect of serving equally drunk customers myself.

Obviously brewery fresh would be facetiously suggesting otherwise here; you can see, hear and smell the beer being brewed, reminiscing times back in the winery; Nothing quite like the look of a 318 stainless steel vat in full ferment glinting in the morning sun. Food and Beer is tops, as would many staunch advocates of the place attest with their returning patronage. The Bright Ale tasted was live with fruity, floral characters, balanced well with malty roundness and not-so-bitter hopped finish. The Pizza (hot sausage, olive and roasted capsicum) was of fresh ingredients not overly topped or scantly sewn- the base was perfect and not oily-and much better than many so called ‘Italian’ restaurants of Perth. The staff are quintessential Freoians through and through, hippyesque, chatty, veritably high on life (or other substances for that matter) give service in genuinity of good vibes. It gives the place it’s unique spell that once cast over you, you’ll probably return.